I get frustrated or reactive

When something hits a nerve, your reaction comes fast.

When you feel hurt, criticised, ignored, or misunderstood, things can escalate quickly - even when part of you knows that's not how you want it to go.

You might:

snap or raise your voice before you've had time to think
feel emotions build so fast they're hard to stop
become defensive or shut down the other person
say things you wish you hadn't
feel misunderstood, or guilty once the heat dies down

Here's what most people in this pattern don't realise: underneath the reaction, there's almost always something more vulnerable going on. Feeling unseen, rejected or like nothing you do is right.

The reaction is trying to protect that. But the hard part is that it often does the opposite - pushing people away or making things worse, right at the moment you most want to feel heard.

Without understanding what's driving it, this cycle tends to repeat - even with someone you love and want to stay close to.

Watch this short video to understand what's keeping this pattern in place - and what actually shifts it.

Watch it here

About Skye

I'm a relationship and trauma counsellor based in the Hunter Valley. I work with individuals and couples across Australia.

Most people come to me when they're stuck - in the same arguments, the same dynamics, the same feelings - and can't figure out why. My work is about getting underneath that, so you can understand yourself and others, and the change actually sticks. The video above is a good place to start.

Or if you're ready to talk, you can book an intake session here.