The Subconscious Mind: Why Knowing Something Logically Doesn't Always Change How You Feel

Oct 5

5 min read

Have you ever known something logically, but found that your emotions or reactions don't seem to agree?

You know you're safe, but your body still reacts.

You know you don't need everyone's approval, but saying no still feels uncomfortable.

You know one mistake doesn't define you, but getting something wrong still brings up that familiar feeling of not being good enough.

You know something happened a long time ago, but something in the present can suddenly make it feel very close again.

This is often where we start talking about the subconscious mind.

But what does that actually mean?

What is the subconscious mind?

The subconscious mind is something we hear about a lot in therapy, hypnotherapy and self-development.

It can sometimes sound as though there's another little mind sitting underneath your conscious one, quietly running the show.

That's not really what we mean.

The subconscious mind isn't one specific part or system of the brain. It's a useful everyday term for the thoughts, associations, memories, emotional responses, learned patterns and automatic processes that can influence us without us consciously thinking about them in that moment.

Our brains are constantly taking in information, recognising patterns, drawing on previous experiences and responding to what's happening around us without requiring us to consciously direct every part of that process.

And thankfully so.

Imagine having to consciously think through every movement involved in driving a car, every step involved in brushing your teeth, or how to form every word when you're having a conversation.

Over time, many things become automatic.

Our emotional responses can become automatic too

It's not only behaviours and physical skills that can become automatic.

Our experiences can shape the way we respond emotionally as well.

Maybe you learnt that conflict meant something bad was about to happen.

Perhaps criticism became associated with rejection.

Maybe keeping other people happy helped you feel safe or connected.

Or perhaps an experience taught you to be alert to particular situations, expressions, tones of voice or changes in someone's behaviour.

You don't necessarily stop and consciously decide: I'm going to react this way now.

The response can happen before you've had time to think about it. Then your logical mind catches up and says:

“Why did I react like that?”

This is why insight doesn't always create change

Understanding ourselves matters.

Being able to recognise where something came from can be incredibly helpful, and sometimes that understanding helps us begin responding differently.

But not always. You can know logically:

This person isn't the person who hurt me.

I'm allowed to say no.

Making a mistake doesn't mean I've failed.

I'm safe now.

I don't need to keep everyone happy.

And still notice the old response appearing.

That doesn't necessarily mean there's something inside you deliberately working against you.

Often, you're experiencing a response that has been shaped by previous experiences and has become automatic or deeply familiar.

Knowing something differently is one thing. Sometimes we also need the opportunity to experience and respond to it differently.

Can therapy work with the subconscious mind?

Yes — and there isn't only one way of doing that.

Talking and conscious understanding can be incredibly valuable. Sometimes making sense of what's happening, recognising a pattern or seeing something from a different perspective creates exactly the change we need.

But some therapeutic approaches also give us different ways of working with experiences, associations and responses that may be operating outside our immediate conscious awareness.

Clinical Hypnotherapy is one way of doing this. Hypnosis involves a shift in attention and awareness that allows us to work therapeutically with patterns, responses and experiences in a different way from ordinary conversation alone.

Eye Movement Integration Therapy (EMIT) offers another way of working with distressing experiences, memories and emotional responses. This can be particularly relevant when you understand something logically, but still experience an emotional, physical or automatic response that doesn't seem to match what you know.

These are different therapeutic approaches, and neither is about somehow “unlocking” a hidden part of your mind.

They're different ways of working with the fact that not everything influencing how we feel and respond is happening at the level of deliberate, conscious thought.

Your subconscious isn't your enemy

I think this is particularly important.

Sometimes the subconscious mind is talked about as though it's the part of you that's sabotaging your life.

My subconscious is stopping me.

My subconscious doesn't want me to succeed.

I need to reprogram my subconscious.

I don't find that way of looking at it particularly helpful.

Many of the responses we now find frustrating or difficult make more sense when we understand the context in which they developed.

They may have helped us cope, stay connected, avoid something painful or navigate experiences at another point in our lives.

The problem is that a response that once made sense doesn't necessarily make sense for where you are now.

We don't necessarily need to fight those responses or treat them as something wrong with us.

We can become curious about them, understand what they're connected to and work towards creating different ways of responding.

Does the subconscious control everything we do?

You'll sometimes see claims that the subconscious mind controls 90%, 95% or even 99% of our behaviour.

I don't think we need those kinds of numbers to understand that a lot happens outside our immediate conscious awareness.

Human behaviour is influenced by a complex mix of conscious thought, automatic processes, previous experiences, emotions, our bodies, our environment, relationships, habits and many other factors.

The important part isn't trying to calculate exactly how much of your life is being run by your subconscious.

It's recognising that conscious thought isn't the whole picture.

And that can help explain why simply telling yourself to stop worrying, get over it, think positively or just do something differently isn't always enough.

Change is more than knowing better

Sometimes change comes through understanding.

Sometimes it comes through making different choices and practising new behaviours.

Sometimes there's an experience that still needs attention or processing.

And sometimes we need to work with something that seems to happen before our logical mind gets a say in it.

That's one of the reasons I work integratively. There isn't one therapeutic approach that makes sense for every person and every problem.

Different things need different kinds of work.

Not because there's a mysterious hidden mind controlling you, but because we're influenced by far more than the thoughts we're consciously thinking at any given moment.

And when an old automatic response begins to change, it can give us more freedom to respond to what's happening now, rather than continually responding from what we've learnt in the past.

S.W.

Want to learn more?

You can read more about Clinical Hypnotherapy or Eye Movement Integration Therapy at Balanced Connection Therapy, including sessions, fees and booking information.

LEARN MORE ABOUT CLINICAL HYPNOTHERAPY →

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